2008–2011

With the beauty of hindsight, I know that I began a slide in to what I now know as CFS in 2008.

My achiever, perfectionist and helper personality traits were driving my life. I was pregnant with our second child, pushing myself to be a super-mum and managing a complete house renovation. I was hospitalised several times with fatigue and dizziness during my pregnancy. After a planned home delivery, I haemorrhaged and was rushed to hospital. I declined a blood transfusion and discharged myself. After collapsing again, several times, I was unable to recover or regain any energy. I was put on antidepressants, as the GP felt I had post-natal depression.

After about 6 months I began to regain a little energy but was continually plagued with viruses and dizzy spells. After 2 further house moves (that was 4 house moves in 2 years… 2 children under the age of 5 and a ridiculous belief I could exercise and push my way to energy) in January 2011 I caught the flu and this time I could not recover.

By this point I was almost completely bed bound and struggled to tolerate light or sound. The fatigue was totally debilitating.

I suffered flu like symptoms including headaches and dizziness. I was unable to balance my blood sugar and needed to eat every 90 minutes, including during the night. My sleep was unrefreshing and although I didn’t understand it at the time if I pushed myself to do anything, I experienced post exertional malaise (PEM). I was told by the GP that I had post-viral fatigue and that I was unlikely to fully recover.

I was deeply unhappy with this answer and I was fortunate enough to seek the advice of a private GP who did a host of tests and found some deficiencies and slight abnormalities. She made some sensible suggestions which included cutting out gluten, sugar and caffeine. She recommended some nutritional supplements and I had regular intravenous vitamin infusions.

On her advice we looked to reduce my stress by having more structured help in the house and with the children. Across about a year, this made a difference to my energy levels so that I could function within the house. This was a huge improvement; I could make my children’s breakfast, rest and pace during the day thanks to restorative resting Yoga, and then watch CBEEBIES with them when they got home from nursery and school, my amazing husband would tuck us all in at 7pm.

Whilst an improvement, it was far from the life we wanted. We were only functioning as a family unit thanks to my incredible parents and two very special friends.

At this stage I began working with a psychologist, Jess Thompson, from The Optimum Health Clinic who helped me understand where I was sabotaging myself. I began to understand the importance of calming the nervous system. She also helped me deal with the trauma of living with a chronic illness. I met others via The OHC who were living with CFS ME and felt less alone.

An OHC nutritionist ran further tests and refined my nutritional choices and supplements. I regularly saw a skilled cranial osteopath. I became more adept at pacing. This all helped and I was able to be out in the world again a little more.

But I was so anxious. I felt tired and wired most of the time and rarely enjoyed refreshing sleep. I knew I needed to calm my nervous system but it was so difficult to do this. I took a meditation course which helped a little but I would bounce straight back to a wired state shortly after each practice. EFT was a useful tool but it had limits.

Practicing restorative rest and Yoga Nidra were incredible supports, I couldn’t function without them. I began practicing a little movement yoga at home with a DVD specifically for fatigue. Most of it was well beyond my ability but the combination of gentle movements and breath, I could do, were soothing. So, as my energy increased, I sought out a teacher. I was lucky enough to find a brilliant local teacher, Vicky Leitch, who made me feel welcome despite my limited ability. I discovered that if I practiced very gently I became calmer, more in touch with my body, breath and mind and gradually my capacity began to slowly increase.

I decided to take a year’s foundation course in yoga and the teacher, Lisa Soede, I contacted was one of the students on the DVD I had originally been practicing. Although she hasn’t experienced a fatigue condition herself, it felt like the universe was trying to tell me something. I loved everything about the course, and the teacher, even though I lay on the floor for much of the training.

My personal Yoga practice developed to support my ongoing recovery and I decided to enrol on a 3½ year yoga teacher training course. I wanted to learn more about how to support myself, with the dream being to help others with CFS ME. I then went on to take a specialised restorative Yoga teacher training with Judith Hanson Lasater, this took my restorative practice to a whole new level.

There were some very dark moments during the second year of being largely housebound. I was not able to be the mother, wife, daughter or friend I wanted to be and this caused me a lot of pain. Working with a skilled therapist was invaluable. As was having made a friend via the OHC in a similar situation. Community is so vital, which is why I offer the option to chat before online classes. And I love that so many of our online Yogis have become friends. It is so important to be reminded that you are not the only one going through this and you are not alone.

Life had been stable for a couple years when in my early forties some old and new symptoms crept back in. It was the arrival of the early perimenopause. This was before the current level of menopause awareness. So, back to my investigations to find a supportive doctor and after one traumatic false start, I was put on HRT by Dr Ball through Newson Health. My many Yoga practices are also a huge support in navigating perimenopause.

Shortly after this, and struggling with my sleep I was advised to have an obstructive sleep apnea test. This revealed that I stopped breathing multiple times a minute during my sleep. Whether this was a new condition, caused by the perimenopause or an issue which had always been there, the treatment of using a CPAP machine at night has increased my sleep quality. That and a variety of wind-down end of the day Yoga practices.

In 2025, I undertook a 200-hour Hanna Somatics education course. The subtle movements in this practice help us to release long held tension from the body, allow for free-er breath and can bring us back to natural alignment. A wonderful addition to my Yoga toolkit.

Nurturing my health is and will be a life-long practice. At my worst I could barely sit up in bed and struggled to tolerate light or sound. Now, I love my life. I am well enough to look after my family and enjoy being with them, spend time in nature, enjoy travelling and having adventures and share my passion for all things Yoga.

For ongoing online support, guided practices and a gentle community, join our membership space 'The Held Collective'

Whether you need deep rest or you're ready to explore gentle movement, you'll find resources to support you at your own pace.

Inside you'll find:

• How to get truly comfortable in Restorative Yoga poses

• Guided rest practices, including Yoga Nidra

• Breathing and relaxation practices

• Movement to support you where you are

• A growing library of supportive resources

• A gentle, understanding community

• A monthly live online gathering and practice

• The freedom to practice when it suits your energy levels